Whats been on my mind - February.

A few things have crossed my mind recently.
As i type i am yawning but i feel i needed to blog my thoughts.

First of all, i for some reason woke up the other day thinking is it mandatory to change your surname to your husbands after marriage?
For growing up i was not told, i just observed as a child, my female relatives (aunties ect;) and people in my life getting married and changing their surname to their husbands. It was not questioned, it was just what happened. Now i actually thought that is what happened, call me stupid if you like, whatever. But is it under educated? Was i misinformed? Or was i not informed enough?

I looked it up, on websites and such, i found it is not a mandatory thing, yet tradition. That word, tradition for some reason winds me up. I am unsure why but when people say something is tradition it is around a thing that people do or celebrate or whatever and no one questions it, yet there are questions to be asked.

I always find myself asking them and being called argumentative and 'a rebel without a cause'.
I figured i was not going to lose my surname if i was to be married to a male in the future, though i don't plan on that of course. But for example, my father had four daughters, growing up, before sexuality came into light for me, i assumed we would probably all eventually get married to men and change our surnames, after all that is what my mother did? And her sisters, and my dads sisters...
I thought my dad was unhappy because he didn't have a son to carry on the surname!
But i was relieved to realize that you don't have to change your surname after marriage. People just do.

And all cool and fair if you want to of course, but remember if its because you want to, not because you think its what happens.
People need to question things, question the normal and the traditions more often. So i don't look so alone xD


Another thing to happen to me recently was i was named 'nosy' by a 'friend'.
In a band, you show a mutual respect and decency to your fellow members. This includes if you are not going to make it into session or band practice you let them know and if possible why.
You would do that in a job right? So why not with people who take this band seriously?
Anyways, my said friend does not seem to do this at all.
Sunday just gone i found myself messaging my friend saying 'Band Practice :D' we all know band practice is on on a Sunday unless said otherwise, so you are to come to band practice. It is not hard. If you are serious about being a band member you show dedication.
Anyway....  i got no reply. I went to band practice myself and then on the train journey home i noticed my friend had posted a photo they had taken of a friend (he was at their house, or they at his i don't know) on their 'facebook wall' or 'timeline' or whatever they call it now.
So i decided to message them and ask why they weren't at band practice. They told me they had woken up at 3:30pm upchucking and being sick (band practice starts at 1pm by the way). I said fair enough and i hoped they felt better soon.
Though in my head i was confused as to why they did not reply to my message at 3:30pm to let me know then but was fine enough to post a picture on his facebook wall, right?

So a little while later they made a status saying they had quit their other band (he also does a marching 'jazz' band on Saturdays in a different city, and hes been more dedicated to that) i decided out of concern to ask why they quit the band? and they said i was basically nosy.
And i said i was only asking, for them to say 'no offence but you focus on reality boots and not the jazz band.'
I did then say as they are a member of the reality boots band i was concerned about them and his life in all aspects And asked them if they were going to focus on Reality Boots too, their response was that we had a stuck up atmosphere and apparently we talk about them behind his back and give him dirty looks. Which may i add is not true at all.

This response by him may of been taken from Friday session when he had decided to come in after weeks of not coming to practice, where as the rest of the band had been rehearsing for weeks, he comes along and sings the songs incorrectly in a 'x factor way' he said. And was leading the band with timings which he got incorrectly causing confusion and i ended up getting muddled and stopped singing because of it.
Two of the band members politely said maybe they should let me lead the timings as i am band leader and i think he has taken a huff about it.
Is it an ego thing? Is him coming in after weeks of hiatus and trying to lead and such a way of him trying to prove he can still be part of the band so to speak? Like he doesn't need to rehearse because hes fine? I don't know?

Having a professional and mature manner about you and taking the band seriously and not treating it like a youth club is not being Stuck up right?
right?

Or am i wrong and we are all snobby?

I have typed an incredibly long blog post tonight and i am sorry.
Think i could go on longer but i won't put you through the pain!
Also half way that i gave up writing they, their and them... lol

Thank you if you have read it all, and let me know what you think?
Was i right or wrong?
Also did you know about the name change too?
Would you change your name or not?


Thanks!
Lunasowf!